Thanksgiving Reflections, Harvest Time

Sexual Health, Mental Health, Emotional Health Harvest Time

by Dr. Doris Jeanette, Psy.D.

Cornucopia or Drought? If you planted some seeds earlier in the year and took care of them throughout the year, you could be reaping your Harvest right now!

In October, on the tobacco farm where I grew up, I would sit in the middle of an old, flatbed wagon with metal wheels. It was piled four times as high as I was, sitting in my chair, with peanuts. For those of you who do not know, peanuts have big, bushy, green vines with little, stringy roots dangling down. These roots, in a good year, have huge bunches of voluptuous peanuts attached at the end.

My job after school was to pull these little redskin, North Carolina peanuts off the vine and put them in a bucket. Then the vines flew off the wagon, with the help of my masterfully swing, onto the ground where my Dad would later take them to the hogs to eat. This was one of the few jobs that I actually enjoyed. Not only because I loved to eat the peanuts all year long, but also because this precious act of sitting amidst wonderful autumn all around me was a delicious moment of be-ing. It was a sensuous moment. I was surrounded by strong, giant oak trees, which in each new moment sent me love. With each exhalation of their oxygen I inhaled my life force. It was a sweet time.

So let us review your year and see what your personal harvest looks like.

A year ago I began writing this column. In the first one, we acknowledged how important flowing, sexual energy is in creating and maintaining your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health. We noted the importance of having your root and second chakras open so that you are safely connected to the planet and trusting in relationship to others. In the next column in December we explored how your anxiety keeps you up in your head and not in your body. Consequently you are not relaxed, and your sexual energy comes to a halt. When your sexual energy stops, your creativity and growth stops.

In February we looked at love and how important it is in sexual encounters. I presented a new model for healthy relationships that moves beyond emotional stagnation into more healthy energy exchanges between people. In April, being an Aries, I wrote playfully about be-ing an "ing" and how much being in the moment improves your whole life as well as your sex life! In June we looked at men and their premature ejaculation, offering a bigger picture of what is happening and the importance of bringing men more into the arms of love. In August we noted the unique problems that women loving women have in their relationships, as well as offering ways to keep the passion burning in all relationships.

So let's review your own unique sexuality. How did your sexuality grow this year? Are you different today than you were a year ago? If you planted some seeds and took care of them, you will have something to harvest. If your sexual energy is the same as last year, you are not growing.

One can transform a great deal of stagnant energy in a full year! With everything speeding up around us, there is plenty of opportunity for major shifts.

Ask these questions:

• Has your body changed form? does it actually look different?
• Is your energy different? is there more healthy flow?
• Has your behavior changed? do you find yourself doing something new?
• Have your feelings changed-do you feel more secure with different people?
• Do you find yourself in the middle of an positive experience without trying to get there?
• Do you take less time to get prepared for events?

The more of these you say yes to, the more stagnant energy you have transformed. No matter what anyone says, until the physical form has changed, transformation has not occurred! Words matter not.

Let us ask more specific questions about sex and love.

• How many times did you touch others or yourself with tenderness?
• How many new ways and places did you make love with others or yourself?
• How much of your body did you surrender to gravity?
• How open is your heart?
• How many times did you let go of control and lose yourself in another person?
• How many times did you let others affect you? Penetrate you emotionally?
• How much did you let others love you? physically and emotionally?

You can take great pride in yourself if you have grown. It is time to celebrate and benefit from your abundance. If you have not grown, you do not want to punish or judge yourself.

Instead, look in the mirror and see what is there with honesty and compassion. As you accept reality, without judgment, you are getting the ground ready for your new crops to grow.

There is a whole New Year in front of you. As I like to say, "You have one life time. You either live it or you don't." You get to choose.

If you choose to grow, you need to plant some seeds. Then you can learn how to stay with yourself through the growing session. For help with staying with yourself, listen to or read, "Opening the Heart." Then next year you will have something to harvest.

Facing yourself in the mirror is worth the effort. Each event in your life marks your soul. Each experience is an important part of your own Grand Epic. If you let your authentic emotional self lead the way, you will automatically fulfill your soul's purpose for being here.

My little hands loved to grab those peanuts covered with earth and pull off a great big bunch at once and throw them in the bucket. I felt great satisfaction when the huge bucket was full. The yellow and red leaves around me, the sounds of the birds above and my own vivid imagination made the cooler weather acceptable and my own life stand perfectly still.

Doris Jeanette is a licensed psychologist, sex coach and author of "Opening the Heart" Ebook and audio, which guides you into finding, accepting and empowering your emotional self.

Sex and Love Column by Doris Jeanette, published by New Visions Magazine, October 2002. Revised in 2007.

Call Dr. Jeanette at 215-732-6197 or write drjeanette@drjeanette.com

sexual health, health harvest, mental health, emotional health