Helping Teens And Parents with Sexual Health

Sexual Energy Improves Low Self Esteem

Sexual Health For Teens

Dr. Doris Jeanette, sex therapist, licensed psychologist

In our current environment where priests are sexually abusing their young, religious students and famous male athletes brag about 100's of female conquests how safe do the children and teens feel in this crazy world?

Answer: Not any safer than they have felt at any other time in history. The Sexual Revolution has not made this world any more secure, mature or desirable. Good, healthy sex is still forbidden.

Fatty, little bumps where growing bigger on my chest each day making it harder to sleep at night the same way I had always slept before. I didn't like it. Being twelve was no fun. I thought to myself, "These objects growing on my chest are not going to get in my way. And that is that! They will just have to take it." So I plopped down on top on them, as hard as usual. I did not like growing up.

The changes going on in your body and the expectations of society and parents offer up confusing and difficult conflicts for you as you go through adolescence. Add your own lack of understanding and strong peer pressure to conform and this is the painful reality that you face every day.

Powerful surges of hormones at puberty are mingling with all your emotions, needs and desires. Unfortunately these essential aspects of the self have not been addressed or accepted by anyone in our world. The Sexual Revolution has only served to bring the mess that was in our unconscious up to our awareness. Sex and sex objects are still used to sell cars and control people.

Teens are struggling to grow up physically and emotionally in an environment that is not aware of or supportive of what is happening in their bodies, hearts and souls. Testosterone is soaring and both the girls and the boys are scared. Consequently adolescents end up acting out rather than growing up.

We are all born with an abundance of natural free flowing energy. But by the time we reach eight our bodies and nervous systems have been conditioned to fit into society's expectations of us. At eight we know exactly what to do and how to behave. This means that we have learned to inhibit our natural, juicy energy to fit into what we should and should not be.

These judgments inhibit our sexuality more than any other area. I would even go so far as to say that it is precisely our sexuality that everyone is so concerned about controlling, for it is our real sensuality that threatens the existing religions, governments and families.

This is because your gonads, as previously discussed in this column, are the source of your creative energy. And this energy belongs to you, not to your partner or religion or government or family. And if this energy flows freely, false beliefs and rigidities are eliminated.

Unfortunately most of us listen to these mental judgments and try to fit into society's expectations because we want to be accepted. Consequently, the high cost for us is that we then become depressed, anxious, violent and sick.

When you hide your real sexuality and try to fit in, you do not have access to your powerful energy. Instead your energy is being used to hide, run away from or exaggerate your real self.

My goal is to radically change this current unhealthy environment into a vital, healthy world. My vision is to make this world a safe place for all children and all teens, all over the globe, to be free and happy. This means that we relax and accept our sexuality.

How wonderful it would be if our sexuality was honored and we used it to benefit humanity and ourselves.

Naturally the best way to teach children is by example. The models in the media are seriously unsound. But if we become adults that are healthy, happy and having peak experiences, the children and teens will take note. The false glamour of the media will become obvious to them as they see adults happy and healthy.

As self-actualizing adults, we can lead the way by recognizing, accepting and loving our own real sexuality. (Note that this is not mechanical sex, as practiced by most people, and mentioned in past columns.) We can become comfortable in our own body, in our own skin, by keeping our fiery energy grounded and secure.

After we claim our own erotic power, then we can help the children feel safe and secure as they pass through adolescence. It is my desire that we all become Divine Children, vitally alive, open and safe on Planet Earth.

Let Us Tell the Children and Teens To:

• Accept and honor what their body needs each moment of the day.
• Love each little spot, hole and bump.
• Send loving energy to the whole body each day by way of physical touch.
• Honor all sexual and loving feelings.
• Say no to anything that does not feel in their best interest.
• Honor what the body needs or feels and do not judge it.
• Use their sexual energy to fulfill their soul's purpose in life.

So let us show children and teens that because we love our natural, authentic sexuality, our life is full of purpose and peak experiences. We can live life fully in the flesh having healthy erotic experiences throughout the day as we experience heaven on earth.

If you choose to love, instead of judge your body and sexuality, then you reduce your depression, anxiety, violence and sickness.

When I plopped down hard on top of my breasts as usual, "Ouch!" my breasts reacted to the pain. I thought to myself, "My carefree days are over. How am I going to play ball?" I did not like growing up. "I'm going to have to accept the fact that these bumps are growing on top of me and make room for them. So like it or not, I have to started sleeping differently."

I managed to get through adolescents without too many scars. The pain and isolation didn't do me in permanently. Finally, I accepted the natural process that was happening in my body. By the time I was twenty I honestly adored those lovely breasts.

All material (c) copyrighted, Doris Jeanette, Nov. 2003.

Doris Jeanette, licensed psychologist, is Director of the Center for the New Psychology in Philadelphia and author of "A Study Guide: 7 Study Habits For A + Exam Stress Relief CD by Dr. Jeanette. Learn to relax, calm your mind and use more of your brain. Learn More.