Sex and Love Column, published in New Visions Magazine

How Do You Block Out Love & Sex Energy?

By Dr. Doris Jeanette

If you are the sort of person who moves in with the person who is hurting you and yet don't want to get involved with the person who is sending you love, beware! Your unresolved issues from the past are doing you in.

If you aren't attracting the person that you would like to get involved with, you might ask, "What do I have to do with it?" Maybe more than you might know and more than you might even want to know.

For this cold, short month with St. Valentine's energy in it, my hope for humanity is that we learn to receive the love that is coming our way. It would be great if we could let all that loving energy hit our bones, nerves and muscles!

But alas!, unfortunately as humans, we have a tendency to block out the loving energy that is in our environment much, much more than we realize. Many people do not have a clue that they have anything to do with the fact that they do not feel loved. People think that the outside world is unloving and insensitive. Now admittedly, sometimes it is. But even when love is coming at us, we are busy blocking it out.

When I first realized that I had been actively rejecting the very love I craved and desired it was quite a shock. It did not seem to me that I had anything to do with the fact that I did not feel loved. I blamed it on all those unloving people in this world.

But Lo and Be Hold, pain has a way of waking us up to reality. My heart was hurt so badly, I knew I didn't want to ever repeat that mistake, whatever it was, ever again. So I had to find out what was really going on in my relationships.

I found that if we embrace our hurt it would help us open our Heart so that Real Love can get in. As I followed my emotional self into the truth within my own heart, it began to soften and my energy field opened. This incredible opening is what helped me realize that I had been actively blocking love out for my entire life. My wall of dense defensive energy around me was physically keeping love out. Loving energy literally bounced off of my wall and couldn't get it.

This blew my mind. What I thought was true was not true at all. Bringing the current reality up into the conscious mind is quite an amazing trip. What I found out is that the energetic wall around us blocks out everything. We think that our wall is only blocking out the stuff that is hurting us, but in reality it is also blocking out sweet love and affection.

The truth is that our wall, does not keep us from being hurt. In fact, it does the opposite; it makes sure that we continue to repeat the same hurt over and over again. This energetic wall is full of darker, dense, sticky energy that is guaranteed to keep us repeating the Original Hurt over and over again.

So if you don't feel like you are getting enough love, consider the possibility that you can begin to sense how you are blocking it out. I spent years reading over and over again that "Like energy attracts like energy." I never could understand it. I was loving, so why was I not attracting loving energy back to me? Well, I was also defensive and that defensive energy was attracting defensive energy. So universal laws are universal laws. They even apply to me.

Consequently what we want to do is open up our consciousness so that we can learn to sense our own energy field and our physical body. There is so much data and information there that we can be entertained for years. The more we can sense the energy that is really there with our own physical body and physical senses, the more we can know that which is indisputable and authentic. Energetic truths are far more helpful than psychobabble.

Most people have unsatisfying sex because their energy field is closed. And to top it off, their pelvic area is not connected to their heart; opening one's heart and opening one's pelvis area can correct this problem. Sex is the Goddess's greatest gift. It is a most pleasurable activity and one that everyone deserves to engage in, solo or with others.

Remember that all love is equal. It is not like one person's love is better than another person's. Sometimes people fall into this judgment trap where they think that one person's love is not as good as theirs. This kind of judgment is that which holds "The Wall" in place. We cannot make anyone love us, but we sure can let the love that is coming our way into or heart and bones.

So if we let love in it will calm the nervous system and please the senses. And then we will feel the tingles and get turned on. When real love comes into our heart, it is easy to make love and have ourselves some real, good divine sex, sex that is soft, sweet and slow, delicious and feeding the soul.

Now I leave you with an assignment. Imagine that you are a cup or vessel that is wide open and your only purpose in life is to receive. Your job is to hold any precious energy that comes your way. And as a brave cup and strong vessel your job is to keep this divine energy safe. So let energy come into you and hold it. Don't block it out, drop it, lose it or give it away. Keep it and let it fill you up to the brim!

Doris Jeanette, licensed psychologist, teaches people how to access and use their own emotional, physical, spiritual strengths. She has been a Sex & Love Coach since 1976 and her emotional health audio series, Opening the Heart, is highly recommended by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD. She is a speaker, leads workshops and offers professional development through the Center for New Psychology. Her free, international newsletter, The Vibrant Moment is available at drjeanette.com

Contact Dr. Doris Jeanette for sexual coaching or energy work: drjeanete@drjeanette.com, Call 215-732-6197

Sex and Love Column, Relationship Advice by Doris Jeanette published in New Visions Magazine, Feb.2004