Love Is...

by Dr. Doris Jeanette

St. Valentine visited me this morning in my sacred morning time. He arrived in brown monkÕs attire with a rope belt across his middle, hanging down to his right. I was asking what I needed to communicate in this February column. The quick, lightning fast, telepathic response was Òtell them about the belt.Ó Truthfully, I am thoroughly insecure about this subtle energy information. If you have been reading my columns, you know I am quite confident about my ability to read the physical and emotional energy, but this subtle stuff elicits what I call, ÒMassive Self Doubt.Ó

I have no idea what to say about the belt so I will continue to write and we will see what happens. Jenna Catherine, my partner, wrote Conversing with the Future, Visions of 2020, so she is most adept at reading this subtle stuff. She has been trying to teach me how to sense these finer vibrations for over a decade. When I ask her for validation, this is what she always says, ÒIt may be true and it may not be true.Ó And this is supposed to help me feel secure? Well, I guess my lesson is, ÒThis belt stuff may be garbage or it may be enlightenment.Ó And of course, as soon as I got the monkÕs message, I immediately applied meaning to it. This is another repeated Jenna Mantra, ÒDonÕt fit it into what you already know.Ó And so why canÕt I use my vast range of wisdom to make sense of it? I mean, really.

Love is the topic. I knew that even before I envisioned St. Valentine. Love is the answer. Love is the power and the glory. Love is humbling and evasive. When we go looking for it, we canÕt find it. When we need it the most, we push people away so we canÕt get it. I have spent my whole life studying love. I have loved many and many have loved me. The love I want is real and it doesnÕt betray. It is comfortable and I donÕt have to ÒDOÓ anything to get it.

My mother loved me. She still does, after all these years. She has betrayed me and hurt me. And I have disappointed her, hurt her and rejected her. My mother is the closest of humankind I know to an Unconditional Lover. St. Valentine had it easy, with the church taking care of him. He didnÕt have to worry about making money and feeding himself. He had adequate leisure time. Besides, it is easy to love in theory. And it is easy to love when we arenÕt living with him or her.

But when we have to sit down at the table and eat with a group of unconscious people, it is a different story. My mother had to deal with my fatherÕs irrationalities, my deviant ways, my brotherÕs self-destruction and my sisterÕs perfectionism. She loves and accepts all of us. And I know, at this point in my life, that she loves the real me, not the perfect daughter she always wanted. But my motherÕs problem is, she does not take care of herself. Her precious love goes out to others, but it does not go toward herself.

Love of Self is the biggy. We have to love ourselves or the whole thing falls apart. Yet all the messages I got from the world are clear, self-love is forbidden. It is narrisatic, selfish and never as good as the kind we get from others. Well, that stacks it up against us right from the beginning. This is when I begin to suspect that ÒmanÓ has somehow gotten into this whole thing and wrecked havoc with Goddess Energy.

So I ask, ÒWhy would Self Love be so low on the totem pole?Ó I have a great big heart that is so full of love that it aches when the love is not given away. I love to love. So why would my love be inferior to anyone elseÕs? A question society will have a long time in adequately answering. In the mean time, I decided to love myself no matter what. And I stand by that to this day. Self-Love is the best. It can be nourished and developed until it is dependable, reliable and strong. All of us can open our hearts, access our own emotional strengths and live in the glow and flow of the energy of love. As far as I can tell, this is The Purpose to Life on Planet Earth.

But instead, we are conditioned to constantly get love from other people and feel deprived if we donÕt get it. This is especially true when we add sex to our love equation. Then we enter the most vulnerable and extraordinary event known to humans. How can we totally let go of control and surrender to a sexual love full of desire and passion? How can we keep our fire burning and our hearts open no matter what? Stay tuned, Romantic Love will be the topic in AprilÕs column and I promise to focus on sexy details. In the meantime, let us remember that we are not surrendering to a person, but to the Divine Energy of the Universe. Love is the energy that can freely move in and out of our hearts, bodies and souls anytime we are willing to be open.

We have now covered the entire topic of love and I am still left with St. ValentineÕs belt message. So here goes, ÒTo all metal belt wears, take off your belts. Give them away to the people who hurt Mother Earth.Ó Instead wear the sexy, soft rope belts worn by monks of old. The rope belt can be enjoyed in other ways as well. It is a sensuous expression of masculinity, especially when hung to the right. It is a sensuous expression of femininity, especially, when used with imagination. In all cases, it aligns our energy so that we can step forward into the world confident that whoever we are; ÒWe deserve to be loved. And loved wellÑphysically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.Ó So go forth into the land and Love.

John Diamond, MD, The Body DoesnÕt Lie, repeatedly finds that metal on the midline of the body disrupts our human energy field. If there is a deeper meaning to this belt message, please let me know.

I met Jenna Catherine through the International WomenÕs Writing Guild, a very loving, spiritual group that is improving the world. Please join us. www.iwwg.com.

Dr. Doris Jeanette is a licensed psychologist with an alternative approach. She was trained as a Sex Therapist in 1975 at Temple Medical School with Dr. Joe Wolpe, father of Behavior Therapy. She is a pioneer in the exploration of human emotions and is Director of the Center for the New Psychology in Philadelphia. She has taught and published her innovative work internationally and is author of Dr. JeanetteÕs Natural Process for Opening the Heart, three audiotapes, highly recommended by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Contact her at 215-732-6197 or www.drjeanette.com, drjeanette@drjeanette.com