Body & Soul Responses

from Dr. Jeanette, licensed psychologist, alternative approach

practical, psychological, holistic help for emotional, mental, physical, spiritual issues

Question

I have recently tried to increase my level of consciousness by being more present of exactly what is going on in my body. I feel insecure around people and when I am feeling that I try to just feel it and be present to it but I end up getting stuck in the feeling and not being able to move through it. Heather

Answer

It is fantastic that you are becoming more aware of your body. You have already discovered one universal truth-- we all feel insecure. Did you ever notice how everyone holds her or his breath in elevators? And no one talks or laughs? It is because everyone is so insecure and anxious.

I would say you are probably getting stuck in your own self-judgments. See if you can become more conscious of what your thoughts are. I bet you are repeating the same thoughts over and over again. Read my letting go answer for more help with this. You want to get past any thoughts to the feeling-body level.

Once you do drop down, and that is what it feels like, a dropping down into gravity, you want to keep breathing and feeling until you sense some movement. You want to experience both a physical and emotional feeling. Once you sense the real feeling, it naturally moves. Emotions are energy in movement.

Feeling insecure and inadequate is hard at first, but you want to get comfortable staying with yourself while you are extremely uncomfortable. It may be that you need to stay with the judgments against yourself for a while. You probably will have some yucky feelings coming up. This is good. My tapes can help you do this and understand the process of feeling real feelings.

You want to literally feel the anxiety that is in your autonomic nervous system and the fear that is in your muscles and bones and cells. And then you want to help yourself face these anxieties in your life. As you stay with your real emotions, they will begin to vibrate out of your body. This will take time. It will not happen overnight or like magic. But the more you directly experience the anxiety and fear, the braver and safer you will become.

Denying what is going on or avoiding your body and feelings will only lead to more defensiveness and hardness. This is when the inner child work is so valuable. It's your little girl that you want to stay with and actually help feel safe in more and more situations. You are going to be amazed at how successful you will be in truly changing the way you feel. You will be able to look back on one year and see real and permanent changes.

Because everyone is anxious, this means those of us who do feel, will not only feel our own discomfort but everyone else's as well! All that anxiety is a physical reality, not just a mental concept.

To give you an example of how to stay with yourself, think of how a dog behaves, when she goes into a new place or meets a new person, she sniffs the people and place to be sure it is safe and friendly. We need to do the same thing with our sensory ability! Animals frequently walk the territory and circle around the space. I find that if I enter a place where I feel uncomfortable, I walk the territory. I keep consciously breathing and sensing my physical body as I walk around the area. I stay in touch with my feelings of inadequacy while loving myself through the discomfort. I do this until I feel safe. Or if the place is really not to my liking, I leave.

The trick is to not judge yourself, instead, stay with yourself and give yourself what you need in order to feel more secure. And that is Love in the form of physical comfort, touch and reassurance, the exact opposite of abandoning yourself. As you get more comfortable, you will notice how uncomfortable everyone else is and see their defenses for what they are. Defenses are weak and fragile.

Keep putting your consciousness in your body, you will be so glad you did. You will find your sensitive nature to be a strong and powerful asset. Thanks for communicating and let me know if this helps