It -does- not -matter- what -you- do. I know it is hard to embrace this reality for many of you. There are human doers out there who try to make the rest of us jump up and do do. But I bet there are a few out there that are thrilled to finally get validation that in the final analysis, it does not matter what you do. Some of us are not human doers, we are human be-ings! Yes, "ings."

Being born an ing, I can speak with authority on the subject. An ing likes to be. Yes, just be. My favorite wise saying is up on my refrigerator door. A student from one of my Skidmore Classes for the International Women's Writing Guild, sent me this particular one. At the bottom it says, "Old Spanish Proverb." But this philosophy occurs in all the cultures of the world that are not dominated by doers.

It says, "My favorite activity is to do nothing, and then afterwards, to rest." This is my desire and passion, to live life being my authentic self- an ing. Just like everyone else, my worry and obsessive thoughts keep trying to control me and make me jump up and do do. But they never win. Being relaxed is just too much fun.

It is spring, the favorite time of year for ings. This is when we come out and shine. Ings spr-ing in the spring. We jump for joy, not for tasks. The rest of the time we rest. And relax and love, yes love. Spring is the most delicious, wonderful time to make love. The entire planet is busting wide open with energy. Mother Earth is leading the way and all us ings are following her.

We are seeking to express our deepest passions and highest desires. The most important and favorite activity of all the ings I know is making love. Ings know that the best way to become a better lover is to have little "affairs" as you move through your day. An affair is simply being sweep away by something. This morning, it was the light coming into my bedroom. The light was there. It always is. This morning I let it penetrate me, surrendering to its charm. I smelled light, heard light, tasted light and yummy did I feel.

An affair is anything that takes you. A color, a movement, a person. It could be a yummy feeling or even a yucky feeling that we get involved with, into, totally absorbed with and thus making love with. When you are an ing, affairs can happen at any time, You just let yourself go. Hanging around babies and other ings is helpful. Notice how many affairs a baby has, one right after another. A baby can have an affair with anything. Her navel, her toe, your finger, anything.

Try having an affair right now yourself. Take a deep breath and feel. This is my motto "Breathe and Feel." Feel what is inside you and around you. Then let whatever you feel take you. Get into it. Spend some time with it. Feel the texture, smell the odor, hear the sound and taste it. Let yourself get lost in it. Um. No one is watching, go ahead and ing. It could be an elbow, an odor, the color of your clothes, the skin on your hand, the texture of the magazine-anything. Dance with it. Get to know what you like, don't like, what feels good, what doesn't feel so good, what moves, what doesn't' move. Now you are flowing. You are having an affair. Welcome to the world of ings.

As you give up your stagnate noun status and begin to ing, don't be surprised if self-judgments come into your awareness. The doer is always trying to take the fun out of everything. Your mind and brain will think of many tasks that you need to do so they will tell you to jump up and do them. Don't move.

Get to the bottom of it. Identify the doer in you. You don't want that character ruining another spring. You want to make love. Imagine that your body is totally relaxed in your chair, doing nothing except inging. Nice and comfy. Then your mother walks in. What would your body automatically do? Feel the answer, don't think it. Let it move. Then do the same with your father. Now you have identified one or two of the doers in you. Doers are driven by their thoughts and rarely act spontaneously. This seriously inhibits joy and pleasure. Lovemaking is impossible in this inert state.

Decide not to follow orders from your anxious doer. Get back into the ing of things. Follow your breath into the pleasure again. It is spr-ing! And if you really want to experience pleasure in your whole body spend a few hours underneath a cherry tree. My favorite is the double blossom dark pink ones that explode at the end of the month. I get goose pumps just thinking about them. They helped me get back into inging after graduate school had fashioned me into a doer.

Try it. Relax your body and be there, out there, with the cherry trees. And the ground. The sky. The air. Notice the feelings in your body and in your heart. Sense the vibrations of the tree and Mother Earth. Keep relaxing. Let yourself go. Enjoy being there. Listen to the trees. Hear what they are communicating. After a few hours, you will probably get it. The "tingles." Yes tingles. Ings tingle. We don't always tell you, but we are tingling in the most luscious places. When you see us radiating, smiling and glowing, you can bet we are tingling.

There you have it, it doesn't matter what books you write, what degrees you have or how much money you make. Nope. Zip. It doesn't matter if you have dirty laundry in the basement, dirty dishes in the sink or don't owe your house. The only thing that matters is if you are alive in this very moment. At the pearly gates, St Peter will ask you one question, "How much time did you spend tingling?" Get your answer ready.

Dr. Jeanette, licensed psychologist, was trained as a Sex Therapist in 1976. She has taught and published her innovative work internationally. www.drjeanette.com Contact: drjeanette@drjeanette.com or 215-732-6197.